I Am Not Okay

“Nothing in the affairs of humans is worthy of great anxiety.” -Plato

Naomi Osaka withdrew from the French Open. Said she’s suffered “long bouts of depression,” according to her social media. The headlines all over the cyber world. The world goes crazy because Naomi decided to take care of herself.

She decided to be ok with not being ok.

Why is this act of self kindness such a shock to the world? Shouldn’t it be human nature to take care of yourself, mind, body, and spirit?

“Press Conferences cause unnecessary anxiety” says Naomi Osaka.

Naomi I know the feeling!

Trauma and anxiety live together on “Depression Lane”.

Anxiety pledges millions of people everyday.

According to Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.

  • Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.

Personally, I have given the last 10 years of my life to yoga and wellness. CEO and founder of Yoga N da Hood an organization dedicated to making wellness accessible to everyone.

For a long time I have been drained from giving from an “empty cup”.

Suffering behind the mat with mental, spiritual and even physical wounds. Afraid to break, to ruin everything that I’ve built.

During my recent time of reflection I have discovered that in the past few years I have experienced an extreme amount to Trauma.

Trauma Timeline

My best friend Joshua Johnson dies

June 2019

My Father/My Best Friend William C Mayfield dies

March 2020

Pandemic Loss of Business Contracts

March 2020

Major Break Up

March 2021


April 2021

Unexplained Physical Illness

May 2021

Meanwhile, during this time I was being a mindful parent, winning awards, traveling across the world doing yoga, public speaking, leading workshops, climbing mountains to waterfalls, jumping off Cenotes.

What I’ve realized:

Creating Peace in my life daily, helped me navigate these recent experiences Mindfully.

Not going around my Trauma with drugs and alcohol like I’ve done in the past.

Not going through my Trauma and getting stuck in it, reliving it everyday, allowing it to take over my very being.

But I have gone through it in the healthiest way I know possible at this time.

I am proud of myself.

I write everyday, move everyday, meditate everyday, and live everyday.

It's not easy! It’s Hard AF!

Nor is it perfect. Despite my greatest intentions People got hurt along the way!

I hurt myself!

But I never ran from it, I met it squarely face to face and I am seeing it through.

How do we experience Trauma in a Mindful way?

Remind yourself of what's really important to your quality of life.

Do things to create peace in your life everyday.

Here are 4 ways I create peace in my life in these hard times.

1.Only give your energy to the things you can control

What is it serving you to worry about the things in your life you can’t control. It brings you down and makes you feel incapable. When things come up in your life and you are not sure whether it serves your higher good. Ask yourself “Is this something I can control?

Listen to the quiet voice in your being, see what it has to say. If you find the voice in your head is screaming and brings you anxiety don’t listen to that answer.

Listen for the whispers for that's where wisdom lies.

Knowing what is in your control will bring you inner peace. Anything other than that can derail you and bring stress into your life. You deserve better than that. Sometimes you can’t control what happens to you but you can control how it affects the rest of your life.

2. Get Moving

Have you ever wondered why people take so many gym pics?

Well yes because you want to flex on social media. But more importantly working out makes you feel great. Moving your body does wonders for your anxiety level. The fact that you are doing something to improve your life creates a feeling of inner peace. Your waste being snatched is also an added bonus.

What are some of your favorite ways to get moving?

3. Do Good Deeds

Have you ever helped someone who really couldn’t help themselves?

Did it make you feel good inside? Give you a sense of pride and satisfaction when you help someone else.

You know, on some Golden Rule type stuff: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

The last time you did a good deed, how did it make you feel?

When you recalled those happy feelings, did it make you feel joy all over again?

Now that’s how memories work for your good. Remind yourself to recall the good times more often than you recall the not so good times.

“I wish you happy feelings” -Maze

4. You can’t change anyone but yourself

You’ll have as much success trying to change winter to summer, in January, as you would trying to change another person.

It can take a lifetime to yourself. How will you ever find the time to change someone else.

Social Media Like Press Conferences for Namio cause me “unnecessary anxiety”

Did I say the politically correct thing, are my angles right, am I posting enough, is someone going to cyber bully me today, do I look happy even though I’m depressed and tired.

I have decided to take my peace to another level. I've committed to “Off Social Media Grid” for the next 12 months.

Yes I am deleting all my social media for 12 months.

I will spend my time scrolling through my own life. Learning who my children are. .

Developing and learning who I have grown to be. Studying with spiritual leaders, mentors and shamans translating this knowledge into what I need to know and implementing what I learn into my everyday life.

Restoring my PEACE!

Without Social Media!

Without Being Accessible! Without Yoga N Da Hood!

Make your Peace Your Priority!

See you on the other side!